I was at a mall in Buckhead with my friend Jessica yesterday. She made a snide comment about another girl walking by, so I jokingly mentioned that she was a herder. She initially got a little intense because I was stereotyping her even though she had no clue what I was talking about.
“What’s it mean?” she asked with a sarcastic grin.
“Why do you always ask me to go shopping with you?” I asked.
“Answer me first.”
“I will. My question is part of it. So, why do you always ask me to go shopping with you?”
“You always tell me what you really think. My friends just tell me what I want to hear,” she quickly responded anxious to hear my answer.
“Exactly. Largely, you are all loyal and vicious.” Before she could respond, I asked, “Remember Nicole?” Nicole was a girl I had two dates with on a fix-up. Nicole and I agreed on a group date over drinks and appetizers. So I asked Jessica to bring a date. Nicole brought her friends Trista and Julie.
“Yes, I remember her…nice ass, big boobs, big nose.”
“Yeah, her,” I responded quickly so as not to get off the subject. “You didn’t know her or her friend for 5 minutes and when they got up to go to the bathroom you followed the 3 of them like it was your duty.”
Our conversation continued to something pointless, but I think it’s important for women to be aware that they are herders.
I think it’s the biggest strength and weakness of most women. It is also one of the biggest causes for miscommunication in relationships.
As I mentioned to Jessica, women are loyal and vicious. If they’re your friends, they’ll be your biggest supporters regardless of the circumstance and this is fantastic. However, the flaw is that they’ll support you even when you may need a little checking. This can often lead to an increased fuel when arguing with your man or maybe even another friend. If that happens, we (men) are left feeling very confused and aggravated because of an unresolved situation.
Now, clothing is not too serious. However, imagine getting advice like that from two of your girlfriends and then unleashing that on your unsuspecting man. It can cause a great deal of unnecessary drama.
The Point: Another friend of mine recently had a big fight with her fiancée. After she rehashed the story for me, she realized that she had gone too far because she was riled up from her friends. I agreed with her that her fiancée was wrong, but she should’ve discussed her feeling first instead of attacking him.
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I think your stereotyping on this one- A lot. I’m the first to admit that there are lots of differences between men and women. I’m not saying I don’t have friends that tell me what I want to hear either, but I make sure to surround myself with girlfriends that are open and honest with me. To me that’s the only true friend. Sure there’s lots of girls that will side with another girl just because of gender, but there’s plenty of guys that will do the same. Girls can be catty, of course. They also like security, so they are often less independent than men. Wolves though??? Not sure I agree.
@Heather Maybe, you’re right. Maybe I’m not giving women enough credit to decipher what is real advice. It was an observation…maybe wolves is a little strong ;->. Thanks for reading!