Mag Busters
Culprit: Cosmo – November 2008 Issue Page: 108
This month Cosmo provides you with 75 “sex moves” to create a fire. After reading this article, I became sexually un-aroused. I’m not going to tackle all 75 because they give me a headache, but here are 2 that made me think, “This is just wrong.”
#1 “Have a naughty-movie marathon. Rent a bunch of flicks with famously steamy sex scenes. How you could you not get inspired?”
J’s Take…This is #1!! Each sentence in this one has a problem. First, the use of naughty-movies is a problem. I am not old enough to ever have read Look Magazine, but imagine that this is how they described sex in the 1950s. Second, rent a bunch of flicks…is your goal to have some hot sex or to bond over movies and popcorn? Finally, the last question should be, “If you’re still awake and can get him up, do you think you will be energetic enough to have sex?” Better advice…use a porn for background noise or watch a movie such as Disclosure with a hot sex scene and jump him immediately as it turns you on (forget about the other 10 movies you rented) or make your own movie! Or, you could do all 3!!
#28 “When out at a party, lean your back against him so it looks like you’re just affectionately resting your body. Then subtly grind your butt into his package instead.”
J’s Take…Oh, Cosmo! You’re so naughty! I don’t know how you suggest such taboo things and get away with it in the mainstream. Seriously, my girlfriend did this to me when I was 13 at homecoming. Feel free to implement the technique, but I wouldn’t expect fireworks to go off, as the magazine would have you believe.
There are at least 40 other bad ideas in the one article. I will probably tackle them in increments over the cumming year. Sorry Cosmo, I meant “coming.” Stay tuned!
WARNING!! LINKS ARE NSFW!!
A certain few tokens of mine like to discuss the various ways to best please a man sexually. There is no one answer to this question; but, as a constant, you have to relax and have an open mind.
I find that most women limit themselves to previous experiences and advice from their favorite magazine. It’s really a human problem more than a female problem. Unfortunately, as we get older, we have to work harder to think differently and change our ways.
Whether it’s a new guy you’re trying or if you’re trying to jump-start your long-term relationships, men want women that know what they’re doing in the sack. So, put some effort into you search. Drop the Cosmo or Glamour. As you’ve seen from my previous Mag Busters, they don’t always give the best advice when it comes to dealing with men. Look for some new ideas in places where men look such as Playboy or Google “weird sexual positions” and see what you find.
Missionary, doggie or a little ride are all fun; but try mixing it up with something new like “Legs Wide” to bring your sexual experience to new heights. After watching the video, try some new things. I’d love to hear what you like and what you don’t.
I just thought this was funny (click on it, if you can’t read it).
A Funny Cartoon
Mag Busters: Times You Shouldn’t Text a Guy
Culprit: Cosmo – November 2008 Issue Page: 44
Cosomo consults “relationship expert” Dr. Arlene Krieger, PhD about the times you shouldn’t be texting a guy.
#2: When you’re drunk. “…it’s up to you to stop yourself from sending a tipsy message – especially one that suggests you two meet up ASAP. ‘Being too available lets a guy know he has all the leverage,’ Krieger says.”
J’s Take…If the text is about sex, I’m calling BS on that one. It’s up to you to control what the relationship is. If it’s 2AM and you want some, then you go get you some. In my vast experience, this is one of the few formats that women will verbally express the things that they really want to do to you (drunk or sober); and that is a huge turn-on!
Don’t get caught up in leverage. Those are things college girls worry about. You’re adults. If you both want some, then you’re both getting what you want. The arrangement is what it is. It’s an even exchange for…mmmm…goods.
BTW, if you need a guard against drunk emails, here is my post to a helpful tool.
So if you missed Part 1, I was having fun, naked time with Sara that I met on eHarmony.
…I kept going with my current sexual activities because I thought, “Maybe she’s just really emotional. That’s good for sex, but not so good for a relationship.”
“Are you ok?” I asked with a heavy breath.
“Yeah,” she whimpered. “I’m fine. Don’t stop,” she screamed as she grabbed my butt.
“Do you want me to stop?”
“No! Keep going!” she commanded as she pulled me back down to her.
I was freaked out at this point, and did the best thing I could think of to get out of the situation. I faked it. It’s not something I do hardly at all; but I had no idea what else to do without being rude. My body kept moving with hers. Finally, I let out a loud moan as she moved her hips around my waist. I then quickly worked my way down below her waist and began to use my tongue. She wouldn’t stop crying, and I just wanted it to end as soon as possible. I concentrated on the job literally right in front of me, so I could make quick work of her. After about 2 minutes down below, her body shot upright and her legs clamped tightly around my ears. I know she was satisfied, but I had no idea what I had done wrong. However, I quickly went to the bathroom to get rid of any evidence that I was a decent actor.
When I came back, we both lied there for a few minutes. After telling her that I had to be up for 7, I asked if she wanted to stay or go. She decided to stay, which was fine because I was going to sleep well except for the burning question in my mind.
“Just curious, but what did I do that made you cry?” I asked gently.
“Oh, yeah, I’m sorry about that,” she said somberly.
“It’s ok. I wanted to know if I did something though,” I said with expectations of a response.
“Well, you see, I’m not exactly that experienced. You see—,”
All I could think was, “Oh, Lord. Is she a virgin?” I squinted my eyes expecting the worst.
“Remember how I told you I was divorced?”
“Yes,” I said thinking that I had just had sex with a still married woman.
“Well, he was the only guy I had ever had sex with and we were together for over 8 years. I guess I wasn’t expecting to have that kind of reaction to you. I hope I didn’t scare you.”
“No, no,” I responded. I tried to hide the relief in my voice.
Not much else was said the rest of the night. We both rolled over and went to bed. I think she probably felt embarrassed. I was flat out tired and had a big day ahead of me.
The rest of the week I kept wondering what makes girls so emotional when it comes to sex. The only thing I can ever come up with is that there is just something about being entered by another person. Actually, as I just wrote that, it seems to make more sense to me. Still, she didn’t lose her virginity to me. I’m sure she had sex with her ex a few thousand times over the 8-year period. If any of my readers has any ideas about this situation, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
I think eHarmony did a great job of finding two people that had great chemistry together, but I guess there are some things they can’t predict like sexual response. I’m anxious to use them again though because I’d love to find sex that good again without the virgin tears.
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