Culprit: Cosmo – November 2008 Issue Page: 108

This month Cosmo provides you with 75 “sex moves” to create a fire.  After reading this article, I became sexually un-aroused.  I’m not going to tackle all 75 because they give me a headache, but here are 2 that made me think, “This is just wrong.”

#1 “Have a naughty-movie marathon. Rent a bunch of flicks with famously steamy sex scenes.  How you could you not get inspired?”

J’s Take…This is #1!! Each sentence in this one has a problem.  First, the use of naughty-movies is a problem.  I am not old enough to ever have read Look Magazine, but imagine that this is how they described sex in the 1950s.   Second, rent a bunch of flicks…is your goal to have some hot sex or to bond over movies and popcorn? Finally, the last question should be, “If you’re still awake and can get him up, do you think you will be energetic enough to have sex?”   Better advice…use a porn for background noise or watch a movie such as Disclosure with a hot sex scene and jump him immediately as it turns you on (forget about the other 10 movies you rented) or make your own movie!  Or, you could do all 3!!

#28 “When out at a party, lean your back against him so it looks like you’re just affectionately resting your body.  Then subtly grind your butt into his package instead.”

J’s Take…Oh, Cosmo! You’re so naughty!  I don’t know how you suggest such taboo things and get away with it in the mainstream.  Seriously, my girlfriend did this to me when I was 13 at homecoming.  Feel free to implement the technique, but I wouldn’t expect fireworks to go off, as the magazine would have you believe.

There are at least 40 other bad ideas in the one article.  I will probably tackle them in increments over the cumming year.  Sorry Cosmo, I meant “coming.”  Stay tuned!

A certain few tokens of mine like to discuss the various ways to best please a man sexually.  There is no one answer to this question; but, as a constant, you have to relax and have an open mind.

I find that most women limit themselves to previous experiences and advice from their favorite magazine.  It’s really a human problem more than a female problem.  Unfortunately, as we get older, we have to work harder to think differently and change our ways.

Whether it’s a new guy you’re trying or if you’re trying to jump-start your long-term relationships, men want women that know what they’re doing in the sack.  So, put some effort into you search.  Drop the Cosmo or Glamour.   As you’ve seen from my previous Mag Busters, they don’t always give the best advice when it comes to dealing with men.  Look for some new ideas in places where men look such as Playboy or Google “weird sexual positions” and see what you find.

Missionary, doggie or a little ride are all fun; but try mixing it up with something new like “Legs Wide” to bring your sexual experience to new heights.  After watching the video, try some new things.  I’d love to hear what you like and what you don’t.

I was at a mall in Buckhead with my friend Jessica yesterday.  She made a snide comment about another girl walking by, so I jokingly mentioned that she was a herder.  She initially got a little intense because I was stereotyping her even though she had no clue what I was talking about.

“What’s it mean?” she asked with a sarcastic grin.
“Why do you always ask me to go shopping with you?” I asked.
“Answer me first.”
“I will.  My question is part of it.  So, why do you always ask me to go shopping with you?”
“You always tell me what you really think.  My friends just tell me what I want to hear,” she quickly responded anxious to hear my answer.
“Exactly.  Largely, you are all loyal and vicious.”  Before she could respond, I asked, “Remember Nicole?”  Nicole was a girl I had two dates with on a fix-up.  Nicole and I agreed on a group date over drinks and appetizers.  So I asked Jessica to bring a date.  Nicole brought her friends Trista and Julie.
“Yes, I remember her…nice ass, big boobs, big nose.”
“Yeah, her,” I responded quickly so as not to get off the subject.  “You didn’t know her or her friend for 5 minutes and when they got up to go to the bathroom you followed the 3 of them like it was your duty.”

Our conversation continued to something pointless, but I think it’s important for women to be aware that they are herders.

I think it’s the biggest strength and weakness of most women.  It is also one of the biggest causes for miscommunication in relationships.

As I mentioned to Jessica, women are loyal and vicious.  If they’re your friends, they’ll be your biggest supporters regardless of the circumstance and this is fantastic.  However, the flaw is that they’ll support you even when you may need a little checking.  This can often lead to an increased fuel when arguing with your man or maybe even another friend.  If that happens, we (men) are left feeling very confused and aggravated because of an unresolved situation.

Now, clothing is not too serious.  However, imagine getting advice like that from two of your girlfriends and then unleashing that on your unsuspecting man.  It can cause a great deal of unnecessary drama.

The Point: Another friend of mine recently had a big fight with her fiancée.  After she rehashed the story for me, she realized that she had gone too far because she was riled up from her friends.  I agreed with her that her fiancée was wrong, but she should’ve discussed her feeling first instead of attacking him.