I was at a mall in Buckhead with my friend Jessica yesterday.  She made a snide comment about another girl walking by, so I jokingly mentioned that she was a herder.  She initially got a little intense because I was stereotyping her even though she had no clue what I was talking about.

“What’s it mean?” she asked with a sarcastic grin.
“Why do you always ask me to go shopping with you?” I asked.
“Answer me first.”
“I will.  My question is part of it.  So, why do you always ask me to go shopping with you?”
“You always tell me what you really think.  My friends just tell me what I want to hear,” she quickly responded anxious to hear my answer.
“Exactly.  Largely, you are all loyal and vicious.”  Before she could respond, I asked, “Remember Nicole?”  Nicole was a girl I had two dates with on a fix-up.  Nicole and I agreed on a group date over drinks and appetizers.  So I asked Jessica to bring a date.  Nicole brought her friends Trista and Julie.
“Yes, I remember her…nice ass, big boobs, big nose.”
“Yeah, her,” I responded quickly so as not to get off the subject.  “You didn’t know her or her friend for 5 minutes and when they got up to go to the bathroom you followed the 3 of them like it was your duty.”

Our conversation continued to something pointless, but I think it’s important for women to be aware that they are herders.

I think it’s the biggest strength and weakness of most women.  It is also one of the biggest causes for miscommunication in relationships.

As I mentioned to Jessica, women are loyal and vicious.  If they’re your friends, they’ll be your biggest supporters regardless of the circumstance and this is fantastic.  However, the flaw is that they’ll support you even when you may need a little checking.  This can often lead to an increased fuel when arguing with your man or maybe even another friend.  If that happens, we (men) are left feeling very confused and aggravated because of an unresolved situation.

Now, clothing is not too serious.  However, imagine getting advice like that from two of your girlfriends and then unleashing that on your unsuspecting man.  It can cause a great deal of unnecessary drama.

The Point: Another friend of mine recently had a big fight with her fiancée.  After she rehashed the story for me, she realized that she had gone too far because she was riled up from her friends.  I agreed with her that her fiancée was wrong, but she should’ve discussed her feeling first instead of attacking him.

Question: Marsha (29, Tampa, FL) Asks: Do men prefer blondes?  I’m a brunette and my friend is a dirty blonde; I think I’m more physically attractive than her, but she still gets more looks than I do.

Answer: After receiving this email, I realized that I’ve had this conversation many other times but pushed it off as trivial.   Obviously, it is weighing on some of your minds.  To answer the question, I began comparing women I speak to with those I’ve actually asked out on dates.  I came to the conclusion that: I don’t prefer blondes when it comes to getting digits, but I do look at them first.

I usually make visual contact with blonde women first, but I end up closing the deal with brunettes or black haired women more often than not.  It would be easy to blame magazines and movies for making us only want blonde women; but I think it has more to do with the idea that people simply relate that hair color to ideas of being young, fun and energetic.  When it comes down to actually discovering a woman though, I’m more intrigued by the exoticness and adventure.  I get a sense of this from dark-haired females.

So, if you’re not a blonde, don’t change your hair color just yet.  You may have to work a little harder to get in his front door; but after you are, take him on an exotic adventure!

My friend Nirali got caught up in a tizzy with her boyfriend over the weekend.  Apparently, it was one of those fights that start out about one thing and then lead to about nine other things.

The typical cause of this is the girl saying too much and the guy saying too little.  Girl gets inflamed with guy because he’s not talking which leads her to say things she really doesn’t mean.  All girls do it…some to more of an extent than others.  I dated one girl in college that I swear she just got off on it in some weird way.  We always had make-up sex…now that I think about it that’s all the sex we had that last month or two.

Anyway, the gist of the fight is that she got into an argument at work with a female coworker; and when she came home to bitch about it, he offered advice.  This was a big mistake on his part.  I wasn’t there, but I’m assuming that she got defensive about it as thought she had to plead her case to him…the more he responded, the more infuriated she became.

I learned long ago that when women are upset with anything…just listen.  Don’t offer advice.  I realized that women herd, so they’re used to people listening and consoling.  If I’m walking down the street with a girl and she breaks a nail…the correct response is, “I’m sorry.  It’ll be ok.”